If you don’t know, king cake is a Mardi Grad tradition. It’s a dough wrapped around a filling of fruit, sweetened cream cheese, and some cinnamon. Janelle and I tried making our own using a recipe that we found online. Apparently, it’s not as easy as it looks.

We loaded all the ingredients up and realized that we had forgotten to sweeten the cream cheese. That’s when we realized that this is probably something we should document, so we took some pictures then:

Key lime
Raspberry

We rolled them the best we could and baked them as directed to. Baking certainly didn’t help.

Key lime
Raspberry

I didn’t mention that this was for a party tonight. Luckily, HyVee saved the day. We might bring our abominations to the party anyway, but we needed to give guests the option of a decent king cake.

The moral of the story: making king cake is harder than it looks.

I thought hard about posting something this stupid on my blog. I mean, I have this smart guy image to uphold. But I’ve watched this three times now and I keep laughing at it, so I feel I owe it to you, my readers, to post it here.

In the spirit of my original Dennis the Menace comics with Hannibal Lecter quotes, I bring you Lockhorns comics with quotes from Twilight. Same concept. Different content. Here are some of my favorites:

• Comic 1
• Comic 2
• Comic 3
• Comic 4
• Comic 5

This is a random generator, so if you don’t like one that you land on, you can hit the refresh link to get a new one.

Sometimes Yahoo Answers amazes me. Here is an actual question from Yahoo Answers:

Can your baby get pregnant if you have sex while pregnant? like if you are pregnant with a baby girl, and you have sex while you are pregnant, can the sperm go up in there and impregnate the baby?

Yes, someone actually asked that question. And people actually answered. Here are some of my favorite responses:

(winning answer) The baby can get pregnant only if it’s a female. If you suspect that your baby is pregnant, try not to have sex again. You run the risk of getting your baby’s baby pregnant and that can lead to complications like an infinite loop.

The answer is yes. Also, if you’re pregnant with a baby boy and a baby girl, then they too can copulate and impregnate each other. If you’re pregnant with a baby boy, it’s highly likely that the baby boy will impregnate you again and you’ll have babies at different stages in the womb…semi fraternal twins. Careful though, if the baby boy fathers a fetal girl, he will try to impregnate her as well.

Don’t listen to these people – they’re trying to set you up. The answer is yes, it can get pregnant. When this happens – the baby doesn’t get born the natural way. It will eject out of your stomach (or sometimes out of your chest). This is because there is not enough room for 2 babies to be born the natural way (when one baby is inside another). With twins/triplets its ok. Giving birth this way is extremely painful, and is usually fatal. If you’ve ever seen the movie Aliens – its a bit like that. Its called a cesarean gastro birth. Ask your doctor about it. That’s why you sometimes see women with huge scars up their stomachs. Its where the skin split and the baby ejected from.

YES!!!! It so happens that I am pregnant at the moment and me an my partner had sex on a few occasions, now my baby is pregnant with twins and is only 3 weeks behind me for the birth we are all very excited , some more great news is as I have been eating alot of sushi all 3 babies have a high chance of speaking fluent Japanese.

IT ABSOLUTELY CAN! I am a baby. I’m 7 months old and 6 months pregnant. My father is the baby’s daddy and my mom is going to be a grandma 10 months having her first kid. Do you understand what kind of strain this puts on me? I’m going to have to bypass my whole education! I’ve been working drive-thru @ Burger King since I was 3 months old! WTF FML.

Not only that, but if the baby is male, he will be made gay if you have sex with a man while you are pregnant with him.

How old are you? Do not reproduce.

Yes… but ONLY if you’re having sex with Chuck Norris.

Got a costume party to go to but no costume? Here are some quick ideas!

Facebook – Cut eye holes in a book. Attach to face.

An Undercover Cop – Wear normal clothes. Ask a lot of probing questions.

Christmas Carolers – Travel in a group. Sing Christmas songs.

A Vegan Vampire – Wear fangs and patchouli. Carry V8.

Swine Flu – Wear a trash bag and a snout. Slip some eye drops in the punch bowl.

The Invisible Man – Don’t show up. Later, insist that you were there.

Who knew the French were capable of this much mayhem?

Just a sneak peek at something I’m throwing together—Dennis the Menace comics with quotes from Hannibal Lecter. I’ll work on making it look a little nicer tomorrow.

Some of my favorites so far:

• Comic 1
• Comic 2
• Comic 3
• Comic 4
• Comic 5

I blogged a while back on Garfield Without Garfield, which removes all animals from the Garfield comic, leaving a lonely, depressed, and possibly schizophrenic Jon Arbuckle.

While talking about this site with a friend a while back, he told me about Joe Mathlete Explains Today’s Marmaduke, which explains in far to much detail the day’s Marmaduke comic. Sometimes, the explanation is, “Marmaduke is an asshole.”

This led me to search for some other sites that make fun of lame comics. Here are my finds:

Lasagna Cat – People dress up in costumes and act out bad Garfield strips, with rim shots and canned laughter at the end.

The Nietzsche Family Circus – A Family Circus strip paired with a random quote from Friedrich Nietzsche.

The Marmaduke Project – A site that pretty much just makes fun of Marmaduke, although in more creative ways than the one above.

Note: I found some other explanation sites, but they simply weren’t funny, so I did not list them here.

It’s that time of year again! Culture Club campaigning has just begun at PlattForm! For those who don’t know, each year, PF employees elect a group of individuals to help keep the atmosphere here fun and engaging. This group plans activities and social events, both in and outside of work.

I’m not running, but I’m managing a campaign for one of my co-workers, Dan Carr. Here are the posters I came up with:

• Poster 1
• Poster 2
• Poster 3

Tasteless? Probably.

In other news, I think I’m coming down with something. I went home early on Friday and laid down for the remainder of the day. I laid down most of Saturday and after church on Sunday. I had an abnormal amount of trouble getting up this morning. I just asked today, and that was the first symptom that my co-workers had when they recently got sick. Sigh.

I’m the kind of person who really doesn’t like car commercials. If they’re entertaining, sure, but they scarcely are. On top of that, you don’t really learn a lot about the cars. There are those ridiculous ads where big trucks carry even bigger trucks up big hills and stuff like that, but I really have no idea what it would be like to actually own one of them.

So I decided to make my own car ads—ads that speak the truth. Here’s what I came up with.

• The Kia Amanti
• The New Volkswagen Beetle
• The Ford Taurus
• The Hyundai Genesis (warning: coarse language)
• The Porsche Boxster