It’s illustrated by a 29-year-old artist and written by his 5-year-old little brother.

This is probably a good time to explain why I love going to thrift stores. Of course, I love the quirky and vintage clothing to be found there on good days. But there’s more to the story. I stay away from stores like the Gap and American Eagle (too mainstream). If someone comments on a shirt and I have to say I got it at the Gap, I might as well just turn in my indie card right there and then. But if something from the Gap is on sale at the Salvation Army, I can say I got it at the Salvation Army, no more questions asked. Indie cred saved!

So, listening to terrible pop music ironically, +20 hipster points. Driving to a thrift store, +10 hipster points. Refusing to step into the Gap, +15 hipster points. Where do I get the rest of my hipster points? (It takes at least 50 hipster points to actually be a hipster.)

Making fun of hipsters, +10 hipster points. Hipsters love pointing at other, even more ridiculous hipsters and saying, “Ha ha, those hipsters!” But only people with hipster tendencies know enough about hipsters to make fun of them. If you don’t follow me on Facebook, you should know that I just added a large photo gallery of pictures making fun of hipsters.

It gets worse. At an Over the Rhine concert a few months back (you’ve probably never heard of them), I was talking with another self-proclaimed music snob. In this conversation, I actually uttered the phrase, “Sunny Day Real Estate isn’t bad. Emo music was good before it became popular.” +25 hipster points.

Did I mention I had an organic apple for breakfast? +3 hipster points.

Developing a point system for detecting hipsters, +10 hipster points.

So, as you can see, I am well over the established limit. The good news is that I am on the path to recovery. If you go back six years or so, I used to wear plaid golf pants and fake glasses. So I’d like to consider myself a recovering hipster. I’d join a recovery support group, but they’re really obscure—hard to find, if you know what I mean.

The really hilarious part is that most hipsters don’t even know what they’re talking about. Sure, they know musical trivia and the history of lomography, but they can’t grasp the cornerstone of their pretentious ideology: irony. There, I said it. Hipsters don’t understand irony.

Of course, I’m not the first person to say this. In fact, this guy said it so well that I’m just going to let you read his article. Seriously, go read it.

Seriously, we need to offer some free elementary business classes so these people understand that bands sell out because they’re sick of eating at McDonalds. Also, choosing to abandon something simply because pop culture supports it is just another way of letting the mindless masses control what you think. Think for yourselves, hipsters! And stop dressing like homeless people!

Don’t believe me? Here are some videos of it in action:

Still don’t believe me? Would a non-lightsaber receive a cease-and-desist from George Lucas himself?

But surely this amazing technology must cost thousands, if not millions of dollars. Otherwise every Star Wars geek would have one, right? Would you believe… $300? That’s right—you can own your own lightsaber for $300 plus shipping and handling.

Soon, real lightsaber battles will be mine…

ESTJ – Sayid/Ilana
ISTJ – Jack
ESFJ – Penny/Charlotte
ISFJ – Jin/Boone

ESTP – Charlie
ISTP – Sawyer
ESFP – Hurley
ISFP – Kate/Sun

ENFJ – Locke
INFJ – Richard
ENFP – Libby
INFP – Desmond

ENTJ – Miles
INTJ – Ben
ENTP – Daniel
INTP – Juliette

The NTs were easy for me—each of the characters I chose just seemed to fit the type so perfectly. The only ones I’m not entirely sure about are the ESFJ (Penny/Charlotte) and the ISFP (mostly Kate, although I’m pretty sure about Sun), but the rest all seem to make sense.

A word on introverts and extraverts: introverts aren’t necessarily quieter than extraverts; they just need to process information internally. Sawyer may be a smooth talker, but spends a lot of time in his own head. It’s the same with Jack. Ben usually won’t act unless he’s thought something through (although I know there have been cases where he has).

NFs are typically the most mystically-minded of the archetypes, which places Locke right in the middle of them. It’s pretty clear from his centric episode that Richard is an NF as well. Desmond spends a lot of time on the brink, so we don’t really get to see the apprehension typical of most INFPs, but I’m pretty sure that’s what he is.

Claire doesn’t get a personality because she’s really more of a plot device than a character.

And if you’re wondering, the Man in Black is obviously another INTJ. Not as sure on Jacob, but he might be another ISTJ.

Anyway, that’s my take. I know there are a lot of characters I didn’t place, but I figured this was enough to complete the analogy. Thoughts?

I saw this movie in theaters when I was 14. Even at 14, I knew that all of the actual hacking in the movie was complete bullshit, and I didn’t even think the movie was all that good. Here’s a sample clip that pretty much sets the tone for the entire movie:

The plot is basically that an evil corporate hacker has created a virus and infected his own company with it. The virus holds the power to capsize oil tankers and spill their oil all over the ocean. (I can’t make this stuff up.) The virus is actually a cover-up for a worm that he created that skims a few cents off of each transaction his company (a bank) makes and puts it into an off-shores account in the Bahamas. He needs the virus, apparently, so some other hacker can take the fall for it. This is a Captain Planet level of cheesy evilness. (Remember when that Captain Planet villain went back in time to sell a nuke to Hitler? That’s what I’m talking about.)

But there were two things I pulled away from this movie:

• The preferred mode of transportation for hackers is rollerblades. Hackers rollerblade all over the place, including subway stations and high school. Unfortunately, every time I put on skates of any kind, I end up with a bloody face. Status: fail!
• Hackers are destined to fall in love with Angelina Jolie. Status: check!

Just for the record, I should point out that I’ve never done any real hacking. I broke into the display computers at Wal-Mart a few times, but really, who hasn’t?

If you don’t know, Disney re-used a lot of their animated sequences in a lot of their earlier movies. I don’t just mean that they re-used the same ideas or storyboards. They re-used the same animations and painted over the old characters. If you haven’t seen these before, they will blow your mind. So, prepare yourself… for recycled Disney animation!

Well, those folks in Japan have done it again! They’ve created a robotic replacement for cats! See this informative video:

Buy one today!

I hadn’t thought about any of this, but I have to admit, it all makes sense. I’d be interested to think some more along these lines. I’ll dig around and see if this guy has written anything else.