This:

“The foundation [of the Lutheran church] is still that salivation comes only by grace alone, faith alone, and through Christ alone.”

So I’m sick again. Starting Saturday morning, symptoms started popping up, and by Saturday evening, I was effectively out of commission. Here are my symptoms:

• Severe fatigue
• Headache
• Achy muscles
• Fever of 100.7
• Sore throat
• Cough
• Runny nose

Informed readers might notice the similarity of those symptoms to swine flu symptoms. Well, Janelle noticed too, so I went to the doctor’s yesterday to get checked out. They had a sign at the check-in desk saying that if you might have swine flu, you’re required by federal law to let them know immediately so they can escort you to the room as soon as possible. So I let them know, and you know what they did? They gave me a freaking mask and made me sit in the waiting room. I got a few glares.

Anyway, as it turns out, I don’t have swine flu. But I’m still out of commission. I slept for fourteen hours last night (and that’s after a two hour nap yesterday afternoon) and I’m still tired as I’m writing this at 6:45 in the evening. The good news is that my fever is gone, and the rule of thumb is you’re ok to go 24 hours after that. So I don’t know if tomorrow is looking so good, but Thursday’s definitely good.

If you go to Church of the Resurrection right now for a worship service and pick up a bulletin, you’ll see my foray into modeling. It’s a promo piece for our next sermon series. Try not to be too jealous. Janelle will be in next week’s, I believe.

Afraid your friends won’t believe you know a real, live Methodist model? Show them this.

The trailer is out for Wes Anderson’s latest, The Fantastic Mr. Fox:

This looks pretty awesome. Due out in November. I’m looking forward to it.

This is all based on some light reading I’ve done lately, so I’m probably missing a few key pieces from this collection of thoughts. From an Existential point of view, freedom is inseparable from responsibility. If we have the freedom to choose our actions, we ultimately must be held responsible for them. This is why Sartre talked about freedom as this terrifying concept: some people are so afraid of that responsibility that they seek ways to revoke their intellectual freedom.

One big example of this is in our propensity to join clubs and organizations (yes, religion included), or, more simply put, our strong desire to belong. This in itself is not bad—but when we start letting these clubs or organizations make our choices for us, we give up our freedom, and we get to relax a bit because someone else can take the responsibility if something goes wrong.

But I don’t think everyone would couple the two together. In fact, by many standards, freedom and responsibility very nearly mean the opposite thing. And I don’t mean responsibility in the traditional sense: getting a job, paying the bills, and taking care of loved ones. I’m talking about being held accountable for your actions. In this line of thought, freedom means less responsibility, which, by Existential standards, means less freedom. In this line of thought, the greatest freedom is to have no freedom.

(Now, I’m not proposing that this is a universal belief, nor am I proposing that it is the most prevalent belief. But admit it: you know people like this.)

Maybe it’s the INTP in me, but that just does not make sense to me. I really despise a person who does not accept responsibility for his or her own choices, either socially or intellectually. Bear in mind that I was an Existentialist long before I knew what Existentialism really was. This has just always made sense to me. Yes, there are times when I don’t want to believe it, but I can’t like myself when I don’t.

I believe that everyone longs for freedom—but their own personal definition of freedom. I think this is why I really don’t get along with these people: we’re constantly moving in opposite directions, philosophically speaking. And this isn’t just the complete bastard who never wants to care what other people think of him—this is also the politically-active individual that lets her political party formulate her opinions for her. This is the Christian who has not worked out his own salvation with fear and trembling. This is the teenager who buys a pre-packaged identity at Hot Topic and takes her social cues from music television.

And I think this is why I’m so into psychology as well. I need to know what conscious and unconscious influences are weighing on me so that I can think independently of them.

And yes, I realize that I still have a lot of work in this regard, but it is something I want to learn and am making strides to learn.

Anyway, there’s not much a point to this post, other than a minor epiphany and some late-night ranting. Feel free to reply with any thoughts you have on freedom, Existential or otherwise.