So, if you don’t know, the advertising agency I work for works exclusively with colleges. Wednesday, we had some clients in the office from a group of Adventist colleges. As you can imagine, they’re deeply religious and very conservative as well. My co-worker, Sheri, had to give a presentation to a room full of these clients, so she did her best to look like them: she wore a conservative skirt and blouse, and actually removed all of her jewelry and left it at a friend’s desk. (Adventists apparently don’t wear jewelry.)

So she gave her presentation, and from what I hear, it actually went over quite well. They were very receptive to her ideas and seemed very eager to talk to her. All in all, a successful meeting.

After the meeting, she went back to retrieve her jewelry. When she got there, she said, “Oh yeah, I’m going back to being a bad girl now!”

Her friend laughed and said, “The dollar is a nice touch.”

“What?” Sheri said.

Sheri had visited the vending machine earlier, but decided not to get anything. Since she was wearing a conservative skirt, she didn’t have any pockets, so she stuck the dollar into her bra. She forgot about the dollar. So she gave her entire presentation to the Adventist enrollment association with a dollar bill sticking visibly out of her cleavage.

People are still coming up to her and asking her to make change for larger bills. It’s still funny, even after two days.

Who knew the French were capable of this much mayhem?

Since Janelle told the world over on her blog, I guess the news is out. Somebody’s going to be a daddy! What? No no no! It’s not me! It’s Sherlock! That’s right! We now have our very own deadbeat dad living with us.

I don’t think all those kitten support bills are going to help his chances with Franny at all. And it’s not going to gain him any real points with Zoey either. Sherlock’s just going to sit on the couch all day and watch trashy talk shows.

Anyway, uh, yay Armenianism. I’ll get back to that when I have some more energy.

A recent conversation on the predestination of salvation got me started thinking about this. Well, more generally, about the whole Calvinism versus Armenianism debate. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, those are two schools of Christian thought, both of which came about in the 16th Century.

Just a warning: This isn’t really one of my fun posts. I’m doing some real soul-searching here, so you get bonus points if you stick with me.

Here’s a primer on each of them (taken from the Wikipedia articles):

Calvinism

• As a consequence of man’s fall into sin, every person is born enslaved to the service of sin.
• God’s choice from eternity of those whom he will bring to himself is not based on foreseen virtue, merit, or faith in those people; rather, it is unconditionally grounded in God’s mercy alone.
• Jesus’ atonement of sin was definite and certain in its design and accomplishment. It would be unjust for God to pay the penalty for some people’s sins and then still condemn them for those sins, all those whose sins were atoned for must necessarily be saved. Moreover, since in this scheme God knows precisely who the elect are and since only the elect will be saved, there is no requirement that Christ atone for sins in general, only for those of the elect.
• The saving grace of God is effectually applied to those whom he has determined to save (that is, the elect) and, in God’s timing, overcomes their resistance to obeying the call of the gospel, bringing them to a saving faith. So if He wants you to be saved, you will be saved.
• Since God is sovereign and his will cannot be frustrated by humans or anything else, those whom God has called into communion with himself will continue in faith until the end. Those who apparently fall away either never had true faith to begin with or will return.

Armenianism

• Humans are naturally unable to make any effort towards salvation.
• Salvation is possible only by God’s grace, which cannot be merited.
• No works of human effort can cause or contribute to salvation.
• God’s election is conditional on faith in the sacrifice and Lordship of Jesus Christ.
• Christ’s atonement was made on behalf of all people.
• God allows his grace to be resisted by those who freely reject Christ.
• Believers are able to resist sin but are not beyond the possibility of falling from grace through persistent, unrepented-of sin.

I’ve considered myself an Armenian for my entire adult life, which I think actually led me to my interest in Existentialism. Armenianism seems a natural fit with Existentialism, with the focus on individual choice and the rejection of essence before existence. Also, Armenianism seems to mesh more with what I believe to be God’s character. So I know what I believe. But, if I’m going to call myself a Christian, I need to go back to the source documents (the Bible) and check my beliefs against that, which is something I haven’t done extensively in this manner.

It’s not that I reject Calvinism in its entirety. For instance, the concept of total depravity (the first bullet point under Calvinism above) has a very valid place in many Christian schools of thought. I think total depravity is a gateway drug into Calvinism, actually, but that’s a thought for another time. Anyway, I don’t think either school gets it entirely wrong (or, most likely, entirely right either).

I’m going to be making a few posts over the next few days examining each of these. I know I have some smart friends out there who have given this far more thought than I have, and I also know I have some very smart friends who may not have given it critical thought but still have opinions on it. I’d like to hear from all of you. I realize this is opening up my blog to the flame wars that have been ensuing since the 16th Century, but it’ll help me discern the truth here, so I welcome all of it.

A few days ago, Zoey was chasing a beetle that had gotten inside and was flying around. I was getting pretty annoyed at the whole spectacle, so after about fifteen minutes of this, I got up and swatted the beetle with a rolled up magazine.

“Ohhh, who’s the great hunter now?” I asked Zoey. He swatted once at the dead beetle, then went off to sulk. “Just remember, Zoey, I’m the man of the house.”

I don’t quite know which is sadder: me taking away my cat’s play toy, or me feeling the need to remind Zoey that I’m the man of the house.

Anyway, I’m off to Wichita for a few days to visit with Janelle’s family. Be back soon!