Sweet Justice
Thursday, June 18th, 2009Yesterday, on the way out of Wal-Mart, we tripped the alarm. You know, the one that goes off when you try to steal merchandise? (My father tried to push both me and the cart out of the store before anyone showed up, but that’s besides the point.) We got searched and it turns out some sunglasses (that we paid for) were the culprits.
We got home and discovered that a portion of our groceries were missing. Blueberries, strawberries, chocolate… All the good stuff. We checked out receipt, and sure enough, we had paid for it all. I blame the turnstile bagging mechanism.
But this isn’t just about the loss of a few berries and some stuff we probably shouldn’t be eating. This is about justice! We were accused of stealing, when we were in fact the stolen from. My dad briefly considered suing Wal-Mart, and I was forced to make my guacamole with a lemon instead of a lime (and don’t even get me started on breakfast this morning).
Anyway, today, we made our way back there. (Unfortunately, without the receipt.) We were unable to recover any of our lost groceries, so we made our purchases and left, dejected. When we got in the car, we discovered we were the proud new owners of some ranch dressing and Louisiana hot sauce that we had not paid for. Being the morally upright citizens that we are, we were glad to see cosmic justice in effect. Tomorrow night: hot wings.
I am both a dreamer and a cynic. I am a writer, musician, and web designer. I am a devoted husband. I am flawed, but functional. I really, really like coffee. If you want to know more than that, feel free to