“So what if I’m wrong? Everyone else is!”
“The majority of people are not only afraid of holding a wrong opinion, as they are holding an opinion alone.”
- Soren Kierkegaard
In most cases, social proof is a bigger motivator than intellectual integrity. And I’m no exception—I’ve jumped on bandwagons before, picked up opinions without really thinking them through just because other like-minded individuals had picked them up. This just further evidences the tendency we have to be primarily social creatures.
And, from a psychological standpoint, it’s no surprise. On Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, social acceptance is a much more basic human need than intellectual advancement (self-actualization).
So, let me be clear: one of my greatest desires is to help other people think themselves up to intellectual advancement and self-actualization. But that’s not a one-step process. And it’s not something everyone will get around to in their dealings with me. The much more basic needs are social and are, fortunately, easier to meet with a little caring. The important thing is to balance the two. I have a tendency to focus on one at the expense of the other, forgetting to either challenge or care for other individuals, depending on my relationship with them.
Anyway, this is one of my few posts that isn’t really meant for anyone. I just had to write this out to formulate it all in my head, and decided to keep it. Thanks for reading, though!
April 21st, 2009 at 4:54 pm
I have the unfortunate habit of forming an opinion based on not wanting to have the same opinion as someone whom I don’t respect. It’s something I catch myself doing every now and then, especially when watching certain “news” pundits, who shall remain nameless…
Anyhow, as for the social interaction, etc, it’s been my experience that there are few people whose opinions I can challenge for the fun of it without offending them, and this has led me to (wrongly, perhaps) assume that this is so for most people I encounter. Therefore, I often don’t even get to that point with many of my friends, which is rather unfortunate, because I think it’s far more entertaining to have an intellectual spar than it is to make small talk. However, I pretty much just come across as arrogant with such folks (i.e., those who don’t think it’s fun to debate and/or have heavy discussions). I’m okay with being perceived as arrogant, but only to an extent because, like you, I also tend to care about not hurting others’ feelings unnecessarily, which can happen unintentionally when I get into my debate mode.