I made some burgers last night that I have to share. As for the burgers themselves, I didn’t do much—just some salt and onion powder. On top of that, I added a slice of mozzarella cheese (the real stuff, that comes in the shape of a little ball), some fresh spinach sauteed in garlic and olive oil, and some basil pesto mayonnaise (just basil pesto and mayonnaise mixed). I used kaiser rolls. Awesome burgers, and not a lot of work. Serve with some Parmesan fries (great with the leftover pesto mayo) and you’ve got yourself a meal.

It took me forever to figure this out, so I’m recording it here so I don’t have to figure it out again next time.

The gist of it is that you create an element that’s positioned somewhere on a page. When you scroll down, the object moves down with the page, so it’s in a fixed spot no matter how far down you scroll. Just stick all this in the head of your document:

<b>JavaScript</b>
window.onscroll = document.documentElement.onscroll = function() {
  var obj = document.getElementById('confirm');
  if (!obj) return;
  var currentOffset = document.body.scrollTop || document.documentElement.scrollTop;
  var desiredOffset = currentOffset + 20;
  if (desiredOffset != parseInt(obj.style.top)) 
    obj.style.top = desiredOffset + 'px';
}
<b>CSS</b>
#confirm {
  position: absolute;
  left: 640px;
  top: 20px;
  width: 200px;
  height: 100px;
}

You can rest assured that you will never be as awesome as this cat:

I know the holiday season can really get to people. It’s supposed to be the happiest time of the year, but just today, I saw a customer screaming at a check-out clerk in Target. Not nice. So here’s a little inspiration to get you through the next four days. Hang in there, little buddy!

Merry Christmas from Zoey

And to all, a good night.

I’m out of town, so don’t expect too many updates until Tuesday night or so. In the meantime, leave me lots of comments and write ABC to save Pushing Daisies.

Taken from my annual self-assessment, which I just sent to my director:

List any topics you would like to discuss with your supervisor during your review:
Given that mine is such a free-form role, I’d like to discuss the future expansion of my role and responsibilities in the coming year, rooted in the expanding needs of the team. I would also like to discuss the ontological impact the emerging Postmodern mindset has had on the career college industry with specific regards to Kierkegaardian Existentialism and gunsmithing.

So I finally broke down and started reading How to Win Friends and Influence People. Parts of it are actually good; others are definitely not. (I just finished up a chapter on the importance of smiling.) The more I read this, the more I realize: I don’t want to win friends and influence people—I just want to get shit done. I realize this means that I will never be paid as well as people who smile all the time. But I made this poster in an hour and a half. Beat that, Smiley.

This blog post on a blog dedicated to saving the show says that ABC wanted to bring the show back, but Disney (the parent company) backed out. That’s not to say that ABC is free from blame, since they didn’t want to pick up the show themselves. Sigh.

The blog post also states that the last episode will end on a cliffhanger. Damn bastards.

I just wrote this letter to ABC:

What do we have to do to save Pushing Daisies? This is the only television show I’ve watched regularly in years! The show reaches a demographic that none of your other shows will—not even Eli Stone. It’s a demographic that just doesn’t watch network television, and we’ll all be driven back to watching Wes Anderson films and working on our novels if Pushing Daisies indeed pushes the daisies. The show has a wit, charm, and emotional depth that cannot be replicated. Please re-sign this show!

If you like the show, I would recommend you go to their website, click the Contact ABC link at the very bottom, and tell them (politely) how you feel.

As for why the show is tanking, the facts are these: It’s because it has an overtly right-brain appeal. People have complained that the plots don’t make sense and are constructed for people who don’t like to think, but the depth is there—it’s manifested in things like psychological development, artistic style, and philosophical issues. It’s the antithesis of shows like CSI, which are nothing but a collection of intricate details with no real substance to them.

It’s been said that there are two types of fiction books: plot stories and character stories. Character stories are usually considered the more intricate, but plot stories are usually the better sellers. See the connection? The dynamic has finally hit television, and it’s flopping horrendously. I hope this isn’t a sign that shows like this won’t see production in the future, because Pushing Daisies is a real gem in a sea of synthetics. This makes me quite sad.