I’ve really been getting into the MGMT (pronounced “management”) lately. Really, I’ve just been listening to one song over and over again: “Time to Pretend” (you can view the music video here). Here are the lyrics:

I’m feeling rough, I’m feeling raw, I’m in the prime of my life.
Let’s make some music, make some money, find some models for wives.
I’ll move to Paris, shoot some heroin, and f### with the stars.
You man the island and the cocaine and the elegant cars.

This is our decision, to live fast and die young.
We’ve got the vision, now let’s have some fun.
Yeah, it’s overwhelming, but what else can we do.
Get jobs in offices, and wake up for the morning commute.

Forget about our mothers and our friends
We’re fated to pretend
To pretend
We’re fated to pretend
To pretend

I’ll miss the playgrounds and the animals and digging up worms
I’ll miss the comfort of my mother and the weight of the world
I’ll miss my sister, miss my father, miss my dog and my home
Yeah, I’ll miss the boredem and the freedom and the time spent alone.

There’s really nothing, nothing we can do
Love must be forgotten, life can always start up anew.
The models will have children, we’ll get a divorce
We’ll find some more models, everyting must run it’s course.

We’ll choke on our vomit and that will be the end
We were fated to pretend
To pretend
We’re fated to pretend
To pretend

The sad thing is, I’m at a stage in my life where I can’t relate to this anymore. In fact, they’re talking about my life as an alternative to their young, cool life. I’m a sell-out for corporate America. I’m going to need to wear my Chuck Taylors for a week to recover from this blow to my ego.

There are some ex-girlfriends I want to do this to.

Would you adopt this cat?

I found it on PetFinder.

Oh, and I got promoted to Senior at work today. So my new title is tentatively Senior High Wizard of Affiliate Technology (but they’ve said I can make up anything I want with the word “senior” in it).

For those who don’t know, the full-length garment that some Muslim women wear is called a burkha. It covers her body entirely. But, as you can imagine, it gets a little heavy when one goes swimming.

Enter the burkini. That’s right—it’s a swimsuit that covers your entire body.

Truth be told, I’m glad this exists. I’m glad that Muslim women can now go swimming in public. It’s good to know that someone is thinking about their liberty.

Here are some similar products I think we need:

• A suit for Fundamentalist Christians that will protect them from science.
• A suit for Liberal Christians that will protect them from the words “judgment” and “sin.”
• A suit for Calvinists that will protect them from… nothing! It doesn’t matter what you wear!
• A suit for people who do stunts with skateboards to protect them from showing up on America’s Funniest Home Videos.
• A suit for Canadians that will protect them from grizzly bears. Oh wait, they already have that.
• A suit for feminists that will protect them from men with a sense of humor. (Before you tell me, I already know all too well: “That’s not funny!”)
• A suit for idealists that will protect them from reality.

Expect to see these hit the shelves sometime by 2010.

Suppose two opposing armies drawn up in the field, and that a knight arrives whom both armies invite to fight on their side; he makes is choice, is vanquishes and taken prisoner. As prisoner, he is brought before the victor, to whom he foolishly presumes to offer his services on the same terms as were extended to him before the battle. Would not the victor say to him: My friend, you are now my prisoner; there was indeed a time when you could have chosen differently, but not everything is changed…. “One who throws a stone has power over it until he has thrown it, but not afterwards” (Aristotle). Otherwise throwing would be an illusion; the thrower would keep the stone in his hand in spite of all his throwing.

I look back now at what I cast my stones into—web design, writing, and music—and wonder what it had been like had I cast my stones elsewhere.

There are days I still dream of being a psychologist or a counselor, as if that were a stone I could still cast. (I can’t say that I’m entirely convinced that it’s not.) I’ve taken a slew of career assessment tests that tell me what job I’d be most suited for, and all of them list psychology or counseling as the top profession. At the time I was casting these stones (college), this wasn’t even a consideration of mine. I didn’t have any real interest in psychology until my senior year or so, so I don’t have any formal training in it, and that’s not really a field you can get into without a Master’s degree.

There are days I wonder what my life would be like had I stuck with music rather than switching to an English major in college. (Career assessment tests list the creation of art as my second career fit.) I play at my church with a group of actual, professional musicians, and it’s a completely different world. If one of my friends wanted me to play on an album they were recording, I would feel honored; if that same friend wanted one of them to play on an album, it would cost $1000. And that’s okay—that’s what they do, they’re professionals, and they really are that good. I can’t say I’ve given up on raising my skill to somewhere around that level, but I don’t have a professional excuse to practice and I feel that I’m way behind the curve.

I don’t believe in fate or destiny. That’s something I feel I should stress. I believe in the ultimate power of choice. So I don’t wonder if I was “meant to be” somewhere else. And I don’t say any of this to suggest that I’m unhappy with where I am. I just wonder if I would be happier (or better at what I do) had I cast my stones elsewhere. It’s one of those imponderables that has no real bearing on life. It’s outside of my sphere of influence, and can actually distract me from what I’m doing now. It’s just something I still wonder about, you know? I’m a ponderer. I ponder things.

Anyway, just some random musings from me. Feel free to comment with stones that you’ve cast that you wonder about—I’d like to hear about them.

• mississippiboredofeducation.com – Maybe this is why Mississippi schools are in trouble.
• howmartianssavededucation.org – What, was the .com not available? The best part about this is that it’s actually a business website.
• studentloantrap.com – Well, at least they’re honest.
• drugpoemsforelementarystudents.com – I don’t even know what to say about this one.
• studenttasered.com – Please tell me this isn’t some new fetish…
• hytecheducation.com – If you’re going to advertise education, make sure you run spell check on everything first.
• kraplanhighereducation.com – A take off of these guys (who are also clients of ours).
• endstudentnudity.com – Yeah, how’s that going for you?

Leave it to Watson to make a calendar out of making fun of Calvinism:

Calvinism is Silly Fun

For those who don’t know, I’m not a big fan of Idealism. When I say Idealism, I’m referring to the philosophical movement, not the tendency to lift up certain ideals. The philosophy of idealism is more or less based around the concept that all reality is dependent upon thought and consciousness. (Transcendentalists are a little more down-to-earth, but I don’t like them either.) Some go as far as to say that there’s only really one consciousness—your own. Everything you hear, see, and sense is just a figment of your imagination, an illusory world created by your thoughts for your consciousness to experience. Most Idealists will agree, though, that thought and consciousness (subjects, with subjective experiences) makes an object more “real” than non-sentient objects.

I really dig philosophy as of late, as you can tell from the number of posts on the subject—but I just don’t see the point in Idealism. It’s impractical philosophy, since it’s purely speculative and doesn’t serve to help one live, unless one needs help thinking of oneself as a virtual god. It’s that egocentricity that I really despise. I think it’s ludicrous to believe that reality is subject to us and not the other way around. To look at life and think anything but that laws of reality that we did not conceive are being forced upon our consciousnesses is irresponsible and unrestrained optimism.

(For those who are wondering, I don’t believe that reality simply exists without reason. I believe in a God who created reality in a way to challenge us and test our faith and intellect; I believe in a God that fashioned a reality by His own standards and gave us the freedom to accept or reject both it and Him.)

It took a little while, but religion actually caught up with Idealism in New Age mysticism and Scientology, both of which came about in the latter half of the 20th Century. Both grant ultimate importance to the human consciousness—one in the mind’s ability to change the physical world, and one in its ability to create it. I view both as ultimately selfish and out of touch with the sometimes-harsh reality that we’ve all experienced. I don’t say that to say, “Oh, look how much better my religion is than those”—I just disagree with the presumptions of both. If you disagree with me, step back, take an objective look at the facts, and make up your own mind. (It’s only fair, seeing as that’s what I quite unabashedly did.)

But, not so surprisingly, religion was a little behind science. Enter quantum mechanics, which slowly evolved throughout the 19th Century and came to fruition at the advent of the 20th Century. Now quantum mechanics in itself isn’t so bad—it’s simply the realization that the laws of physics as we know them don’t apply on a subatomic level, and the study of those differences. But those differences are crazy-weird. A subatomic particle can actually be in multiple places at once. In fact, the concept of superposition states that until we measure where a particle is, it simultaneously exists in every possible location within the atom, and condenses into a singular position upon measurement. (You can read up on one clever scientist’s critique of this notion here.) It’s the science of Idealism.

Not too long ago, a movie was made about this. It’s called What tнe #$*! Dө ωΣ (k) πow!? or What the bleep do we know!? Admittedly, the movie doesn’t discuss pure science so much as speculative science (or pseudo-science); but all of the assumptions are leaps from quantum mechanics. The Secret is another production (this one, a self-help DVD) that posits that what we think can have a tangible impact on the physical world. Let me be clear: it’s not that our thoughts lead to our actions and our actions lead to change—it’s our thoughts themselves having a very real impact on the world (specifically, on our individual success in life). So Idealism is trickling down into entertainment and self-help, and it’s working its way into more than a few nooks and crannies in our modern lives.

I really can’t say I know enough to tackle quantum mechanics (or, rather, its offspring). And I realize I probably got some of this wrong, since I’m not as smart as the topics I try to discuss. But it’s something I want to learn more about. Call it a personal mission. Call it my civic duty as a Christian Existentialist. But if you have anything to say on the matter, in agreement, disagreement, or dismissal, hit that comment button below or just talk to me. I’m looking for more insight into the matter, and every opinion can teach me something.

I just joined a volleyball league at work. There are four teams, and we’re going to be playing each other over the next eight weeks. Not only is this good exercise, but it gives me a great chance to use all the trash-talking I’ve been practicing with Missy at work.

We had our first game set tonight. I can’t say I’m a great volleyball player, but I’m not exactly terrible either. So I got off to a strong start with a slew of really good serves. (Serving is the one thing I’m really good at.) And then I hit the ball with my face. Twice. The ball didn’t hit me in the face—I actually hit the ball with my face. One of my teammates bestowed upon me the name “Faceball,” and I think it’s going to stick for the rest of the league.

Missy’s last day at work was today. I made her this flyer for her happy hour:

I couldn’t make the happy hour because of Adam’s wedding rehearsal. Anyway, Missy, I’ll keep in touch. Our blogs will be best buddies! And expect a few comments from Curtis at Dogs on Skateboards as well!