A talk about how many 5-year-olds each of a group of my friends could take in a fight turned into a semantic argument when we asked the question of what would constitute “dirty fighting” in such a situation. Specifically, we were talking about eye gouging and hits to the groin. (Picking up and using a child as a weapon against other children was mentioned, but only briefly.) I couldn’t help but think that this was one of those once-in-a-lifetime conversations. Anyway, we decided that no fighting was dirty fighting if you were actually trying to kill the assailants.

Andrew’s blog just won a thinking blog award. I thought, “You know, that’s a really good idea. I should start recognizing blogs that make me think.” But then, I thought, “Wait a minute—do I want to reward thinkers, or doers?” So, on that note, let me present the new Pulpexplosion blog award:

Feel free to nominate folks.

I just saw an ad for a medication. It was a typical ad for medication that showed people smiling and riding around on bikes. I wasn’t really tuned in until I heard this:

“This medication is not recommended for those taking aspirin or the elderly.”

I’m glad we finally have a medication that is taking a stand against the abduction of the elderly! This is serious business, folks. The aspirin, I’m not so sure about.

If a mouse is in a room, you can prove that the mouse is in the room; but if a mouse is not in a room, there’s no way you can conclusively prove that there’s no mouse in the room. That much is a philosophical truth. No matter how hard you look, you could just be missing it. You could build machines to test for a mouse in the room, but they could be malfunctioning. Or you could misinterpret the analysis given by the machines. The mouse could also have developed psychomagnetic powers that alter the machine’s perception of the room.

And on and on it goes. Anyway, you get the point. By this logic, the existence of God can never be conclusively disproved.

Now let’s take a look at faith. Faith, by definition cannot be proved. If the object of faith was somehow proved, it wouldn’t be by faith that we would accept it—it would be by sheer acceptance of an objective fact.

2 Corinthians 5:7 tells us that “We live by faith, not by sight.” By this logic and given the definition of faith, the existence of God can never be conclusively proved.

And yet, we waste so much time hoping to prove or disprove the existence of God. There are countless books written on both sides of it—but just listening to people, we talk about it as if it’s something we’ll eventually prove if we could just figure out how.

Without proof on either side, we have total freedom to choose what we want to believe while remaining of sound mind. But, despite the lack of a real way to make a totally accurate decision, we will ultimately be held responsible for what we choose. That freedom in the face of those consequences is crippling. The resulting anxiety from total freedom of choice with total responsibility for one’s choice is the textbook definition of Existential angst.

Kierkegaard said “In fact, we must believe by virtue of the absurd.” That rings somewhat true for all of life, but especially true for matters of faith, either in the existence or nonexistence of God. He talks about a leap of faith that we all must take, being given incomplete data. We must choose a way of life and leap into it and live our lives as if it were true. That’s the only way to really effectively tackle life.

Anyway, those are just my thoughts as a Christian and amateur Existentialist. Anyone agree or disagree? Or does anyone want to correct my interpretation of Existentialism? (I’m just a rookie, really.)

So after the whole Dogs on Skateboards thing calmed down (you can read about it a few posts down), I kind of forgot about it for a while. Well, recently, my company purchased a company out in New York—Venture Direct Worldwide—that does affiliate marketing in education and a few other verticals. Anyway, I got what I thought was a spam message. I almost just deleted it until I noticed: it was from our friends at Venture. Here’s the message:

Exclusive new offer – huge $$$ opportunity

Exclusive Offer for all of our affiliates!

Tax season is just around the corner, and we have an exclusive offer that is guaranteed to make you some serious money!

Take advantage of the need for quality online tax preparation products and pick up this fantastic offer from eSmartTax. We offer one of the most competitive payouts for an online tax preparation product on the web – $12 anytime someone fills out the online tax preparation form. You can choose from a variety of eye-catching creatives and because tax season comes to all of us,
this offer can be marketed to a broad audience.

Place the ad anywhere throughout your site, but for maximum revenue capabilities, take any one of our creatives and put it on your homepage. Again, because everyone needs to file a tax return, you can run this offer anywhere and generate some massive commissions.

To pick this offer up, please contact:

#### #### (name withheld to protect the innocent)

What had happened was that Venture went through our archives of people whom we had contacted about affiliate marketing and sent all of us other affiliate offers. So this was likely an automated message. Still, it was too good to pass up. This was my reply:

Hello! [name]!

I would very much enjoy $12! But I am confused! Do you know that dogs on skateboards do not fill out taxes? Do you have information on training that will allow these amazing animals to actually fill out a tax form??

I would very much like to hear more information from you about this offer and the $12! Many thanks for the kind e-mail!

- Curtis Hornbuckle
Dogs on Skateboards!

I found out that while I sent the e-mail, the sales guy was actually in Kansas from New York training with our affiliate team. That would have provided some fun opportunities had I known before his last day in Kansas. I never received a response; however, I have received four other e-mails from them.

For those who don’t know, I’m actually pretty opposed to the whole Idealist movement (and along with that, Transcendentalism and Romanticism). I describe myself as a Christian Existentialist, which is defined more by its rejection of Modernism than its adherence to a strict set of rules.

Here’s a quote by Walter Kaufman that really sums up a lot of my feelings on Idealism:

Romanticism is flight from the present, whether into the past, the future, or another world, dreams, or, most often, a vague fog. It is self-deception. Romanticism yearns for deliverance from the cross of the Here and Now: it is willing to face anything but the facts.
- Walter Kaufman, “Existentialism from Dostoevsky to Sartre”

Anyway, I’m reading a book right now entitled An Intelligent Person’s Guide to Philosophy by Roger Scruton. I thought the title was a play off of the For Dummies series. It wasn’t. The guy’s just really that full of himself. On top of that, it’s not even a history of philosophy—it’s his own personal thoughts on life. He occasionally quotes Idealists (especially Hegel), but completely overlooks the whole Postmodern movement—especially Existentialism. So the implication is that his personal thoughts are the most suitable for the intelligent person. I’m trying to get through it just so I can say I got through it, and so I can further formulate my opinion of why I disagree with him.

So if you read the book, watch The Matrix, American Beauty, and Fight Club afterwards and you should be fine.

Anyway, I hope I haven’t offended any Idealists out there. I’ve just got a little too much cynicism for the school of thought.

Fun words and their origins:

Karaoke – The fusion of two Japanese words: kara (“empty”) and oke (“orchestra”).

Sarcasm – From the late Latin sarcasmus, which comes from the Greek sarkasmos, which comes from sarkazein—literally, “to bite the lips in rage.”

Cute – A variation of acute, first appearing in the early 17th Century.

Sardonic – Variation of earlier sardonian, alluding to a Sardinian plant, which, when eaten, was supposed to produce convulsive laughter ending in death.

Angst – A German word that has been around, in one form or another, as long as the language has been around. The original word comes from the Indo-European root angh-, meaning “Tight, painfully constricted, painful.” Other derivatives include anguish, hangnail, and anxious.

Sin – Originally from the Indo-European root es–, meaning “to be.” Other derivatives include yes, essence, absent, and is.

Vagina – From the Latin vagina, meaning “sword sheath.” (This one just begs a feminist reading.)

San Diego – From the German sandiego, which of course means “a whale’s vagina.”

Just last week, I auditioned for the Saturday night percussionist spot on the worship team at my church. I already play congas at another church on Sunday mornings, but the instrumentation there is just me, a piano, and an acoustic guitar. The instrumentation at my church also includes a bass and drummer, so I’ve got a rhythm section to help me out.

These are world-class players, too. I think one of the guitarists is the bassist from Waterdeep, and the bassist is probably the best I’ve ever heard. Last week, they just sort of let me play—but this week, they gave me some guidance in the songs. I’m totally down with that. In a weird sort of way, I kind of like being in way over my head. It gives me lots and lots of room to grow, and it challenges me (and I love challenges).

This endeavor isn’t without its risks, though. I battered my hands so badly last week that they didn’t stop hurting until, like, Thursday. I made sure to ice my hands tonight. I don’t know what I’m going to do if they ask me to fill in on a Sunday night as well. Really, I’m secretly hoping to have another experience where I burst a blood vessel and bleed all over my instrument. It makes me feel like a total badass. I like to imagine myself with a black t-shirt and sunglasses, smoking a clove cigarette, bleeding on my congas. It’s similar to that fighting-the-terrorist dream all men have when they go on airplanes.

 In other news, Janelle and I made an offer on a house. It’s a good-sized four-bedroom house with a huge unfinished walk-out basement (that we hope to eventually finish). It’s a divorce case, so dealing with a divorced couple and both of their respective lawyers is prolonging the whole thing, but I think we’re in a pretty good spot. The wife has signed the papers and the husband has verbally agreed to the deal, although he hasn’t signed anything yet for whatever reason. We’re hoping to get confirmation next week.

 Oh, and I think I’m going to start building a website for my friend Amy Lander. She makes beads and jewelry and wants to have a site that promotes that. I have hosting too, so all she’d have to pay is the $6/year or whatever for the domain name, plus whatever upkeep costs she has for things like an online store (assuming I’m smart enough to set that up). More on that later.

Homemade pizza is awesome.